Breakdown
by EpicallyObsessed
Summary: After an accident, the guys find their friendship tested more than ever before. Especially when one of their own seems to be on a downward spiral and has trouble coping with everything. *Self-Harm In Later Chapters*
1. Prologue

A/N: Hey everybody, Epically Obsessed and EpicRusher13 here! We've been working on this story for a little while now together and are excited to finally start publishing it! There will be some chapters that we do together and there will be some that we will do separately so we'll let you know. Anyway, we hope you all enjoy our story!

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Prologue

All I did lately was screw things up. I knew that the guys didn't need me anymore since they had each other. They said that they didn't blame me for what happened… but I knew that deep down, they all thought that it was my fault.

But it's not like I asked for any of this to happen! I thought that we would all be able to get through this together because that's what they all said. That we would get through this together. But I guess that was all a lie. They've made it pretty clear that they didn't want me around so I'm giving them what they want.

I looked down at the razor, and made my final decision. Smiling a little at the fact that I was finally going to end my suffering.

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Done! Yes, we know that's this is _very _short but the rest of the chapter will be a little longer. The next chapter is already typed up so we'll go ahead and upload it now. And just so you all know, this chapter is a preview of what's to come in later chapters! You'll get to see what led up to this in the upcoming chapters. So who do you think is the person in this chapter? Please let us know in a review!

-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13


	2. Here We Go

A/N: Hello again everyone, Epically Obsessed and EpicRusher13 here! We know that the last chapter was very short, but this chapter is a little longer. We hope you all enjoy the new chatper!

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Here We Go

Kendall P.O.V.

"No." I said, starting to become irritated with the raven haired boy.

"Pppllleeeaasssee Kendall?" Carlos asked, sounding like a little kid.

"Come on Kendall. I think it's a good idea. I mean, we haven't really spent time together with just the four of us in a while. I think it'll be great to hang out together." James said, hope evident in his voice.

I felt a pang of guilt in my chest at James' words. I knew that I had kind of been ignoring the guys ever since I Jo left. Honestly, I had been devastated when she left. The guys tried everything they could to cheer me up, but nothing would work.

I saw how my depression was starting to affect the guys so I decided that it would be best if I just pretended that I was okay for the guys' sake. The only thing about doing that was the fact that I was really irritable at times. I knew that I could be kind of unpredictable with my emotions and had hurt the guys on more than one occasion, which is the reason I distanced myself from them a little bit.

I looked over to Logan who had a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What do you think?" I asked, knowing that Logan was the most level-headed of the three of us.

He thought about it for a second before responding.

"I think it's a good idea. I'll drive if it makes you feel any better. I'm a pretty good defensive driver." Logan offered, giving me a small smile.

I gave him a small smile and nodded, silently agreeing to the plan. Carlos had thought it would be a good idea to have a 'Guys Day' as he called it. He had even went as far as to plan out our day with activities ranging from going to the movies, playing laser tag, hanging out at the park and the four of us going to dinner.

I had to admit that it sounded like a good idea, except for the fact that it was raining outside. It wasn't pouring rain or anything like that, but it was enough to make the roads slick. I had told Carlos that we couldn't go to the park or do any of the outdoor activities on his list to which he replied that we could just cut out the outdoor activities and just do the activities on the list that were indoors.

I wanted nothing more than to hang out with the guys. But I knew how dangerous the roads could be when the roads were slick. Granted the news said that the roads weren't life threateningly dangerous, which eased me a little.

"Come on man. Nothing bad is going to happen. Especially with Logan behind the wheel. I promise." James said, looking sure of his statement.

"Fine." I sighed out, knowing that I was probably going to regret this later.

XxX

We had finally made it down to the parking lot where the car was waiting. Logan and Carlos got into the front set while James and I got in the back.

As soon as Logan started the car, I heard Maroon 5's song 'One More Night' blare throughout the car.

"Ooooh! I like this song!" Carlos exclaimed, jumping up and down like a little kid. It only took a few seconds for him to start singing along to the song.

"_But baby there you again, there you again making me love you_

_Yeah I stopped using my head, using my head let it all go_

_Got you stuck on my body, on my body like a tattoo_

_And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid crawling back to you_

_So I cross my heart, and I hope to die, that I'll only stay with you one more night_

_And I know I said it a million times_

_But I'll only stay with you one more night"_

It didn't take long for James and Logan to join in singing as well. After the song was over I heard Ke$ha's song 'Die Young' begin to blare throughout the car. With the guys immediately starting to sing.

"_I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums _

_Oh what a shame that you came here with someone _

_So while you're here in my arms _

_Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young"_

Logan then began rapping the next part, shocking all of us at the fact that he was rapping. Let alone to a Ke$ha song! Who he swore he would never listen to. Of course, he was kinda busted when he started singing along, signaling that he had been secretly listening to her.

"_Young hearts, out our minds _

_Running like we're outta time _

_Wild childs, lookin' good _

_Living hard just like we should _

_Don't care who's watching when we're tearing it up (You Know) _

_That magic that we've got nobody can touch (For sure) _

_Looking for some trouble tonight _

_Take my hand, I'll show you the wild side _

_Like it's the last night of our lives _

_We'll keep dancing till we die"_

"Come on man sing with us!" James urged as Logan rapped/sang along to the song.

"No way man." I said, suddenly feeling nervous.

"If you don't, then I'll…. I'll…. Crap I don't have anything on you do I?" James said, sounding both confused and dumbstruck.

"Nope. That's why I'm an open book. That way I don't have any secrets. It keeps me from being subject to blackmail." I said while sending James a look that only he understood.

"Pppllleeeaaassseee?" James pleaded, channeling his inner Carlos that I knew wasn't too far under the surface.

"Fine!" I yelled, giving up at the sight of the puppy dog eyes that James was giving me, knowing that I could never say no to him when he did that.

I waited for the chorus to come around again before I started singing along with the guys.

"_I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums _

_Oh what a shame that you came here with someone _

_So while you're here in my arms _

_Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young"_

We were so busy singing that we didn't notice the car speeding towards us at an unnatural speed. We didn't notice it until it was too late… and car crashed into us at full speed.

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Songs Featured:

One More Night by Maroon 5

Die Young by Ke$ha

Done! So yeah, the car crash happened. We can tell you now that there is going to be ALOT of drama and angst coming your way, so be prepared! Next chapter you all will get to see the aftermath of the crash. I know that we didn't give you much to go on… but how are you all liking it so far? We can honestly say that the story will get better as it progresses so please give it a chance and please R&R! Until next time!

Epically Obssessed & EpicRusher13


	3. Big White Room

A/N: Hey everybody, EpicRusher13 here! So Epically Obsessed is currently working on the sequel to her story 'Complicated Love' so we worked on this chapter together and she asked me to type it up while she worked on her sequel. And we both want to thank everyone that has read/reviewed/favorited/ and followed this story so far! It really means alot to us! We hope you enjoy the new chapter!

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Big White Room

When I opened my eyes I found myself blinded by the light. It took my eyes a second to adjust to the bright light. When everything finally came into focus, I noticed the white walls and the distinct overly clean scent that could only be at a hospital.

I looked around and noticed a couple of machines in the room. I didn't have and IV in my arm or anything but I was connected to a heart monitor. It only took a second for everything to start coming back to me. Everything from the guys wanting to hang out to the stupid crash. I couldn't help but worry about the guys. I looked up when I heard someone come into the room.

"Hello Kendall. I'm Dr. Reynolds." He said, holding out his hand for me to shake.

"Nice to meet you Dr. Reynolds. Um… do you mind telling me exactly what's going on?" I asked while shaking his hand.

"Of course. As I'm sure you know, you and your friends were in a car accident. You and Logan are in stable condition. Aside from a few cuts and bruises you both are alright. We've already done test on each of you and you two will be able to be discharged in a couple of hours."

I let out a sigh of relief after hearing that Logan was okay. But that relief was short lived when I realized something.

"What about James and Carlos?" I asked, already feeling nervous about the answer.

"Well, James and Carlos took the blunt of the impact. The car hit the passenger's side, and since they were on the passenger side and you and Logan were on the driver's side…" He trailed off, giving me a sympathetic look.

"How bad is the damage?" I asked, needing to know if they were going to be okay or not.

"Well, James is currently getting a blood transfusion. He had a couple of bad cuts that were making him lose blood quickly. He'll need to rest and have a few more test done but as long as everything goes well he should make a full recovery." He said, giving a little relief.

"And Carlos?"

"Carlos… is a different story. I'm not 100% sure, but I think he may have hit his head on the dashboard. We worked on him before James because he was in critical condition. We did everything we could to help him."

"What are you saying?" I asked, already feeling tears start to burn at my eyes.

"Carlos is in a coma. He has a fifty/fifty chance of making it out." He said, giving me another sympathetic look.

I tried to hold back the tears, but I couldn't help the couple that escaped my eyes.

"Can I go see Logan?" I asked.

"Of course." He said, taking the strap off my arm and allowing me to get out of the bed.

"Right this way." He said, leading me to Logan's room (which turned out to be right next door).

As soon as I stepped foot into the room I noticed Logan's eyes light up.

"Kendall! Thank God you're okay!"

I quickly made my way over to him and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm glad you're okay too Logie." I said, holding back even more tears.

"Have you seen James or Carlos yet?" He asked as he broke away from the hug. I know he must've noticed the look on my face because he immediately became worried.

"Kendall, what happened?" He questioned.

"Um… James. They said that he lost alot of blood and had to have a blood transfusion. But as long as everything goes well he should make a full recovery. But Carlos…"

"Kendall? Kendall what about Carlos?" Logan asked, looking like he was seconds away from having a panic attack.

"They said that he was in critical condition. Logan he's in a coma. With a fifty percent chance of survival." I said, knowing that there was no sense in sugar coating it. I looked up when I realized that Logan hadn't said anything, only to find him on the verge of tears.

"Oh Logan…" I pulled him into a hug, knowing how hard this was for him.

"I can't lose anyone else Kendall. I just can't." He sobbed into my shoulder. I immediately knew what he was talking about and was determined to calm him down before he had a full on panic attack.

"Everything's going to be okay Logan. You'll see. Both James and Carlos are going to make it out of this. They're tough enough to get through this. And we'll be ready when they wake up. Okay?"

He let out a sigh before giving a slight nod.

"Has anybody told your mom about what's going on?" Logan asked, going into parental mode.

"I don't think so. I'll call her. That way we can get out of here and into our own clothes." I said, just now realizing that we had hospital clothes on.

As if on cue, Dr. Reynolds walked in with my phone in his hand.

"I thought you might want to call your mom and let her know what's going on." He said before leaving to give us some privacy.

Logan and I sat in silence as I waited for my phone to turn on. When it finally did turn on, I noticed I had five missed calls from my mom. I immediately dialed her number, hoping that she would pick up.

"_Kendall! What's going on?! I've been trying to get in contact with you for the past hour!" _

If we were under better circumstances, I probably would've laughed. My mom really was overprotective. But that was one of the things that made her so awesome.

"Um… something happened mom." I said, looking over to Logan, who was staring at me intently.

"_What happened?" _She asked, noticing the tone of my voice.

"We kinda got into an accident. Me and Logan are fine but..." Again, I couldn't continue. Thoughts of James and Carlos rushing to my mind.

"_Listen to me Kendall. Everything is going to be okay. Which hospital are you at?"_

I looked around the room to see if I could find the name of the hospital when Logan suddenly handed me a notepad that had the name of the hospital on it.

"We're at White Memorial Medical Center." I said, hoping that she knew where we were.

"_Okay, that's only about twenty minutes from here. I'll be there soon. I love you. Tell Logan I love him too and please make sure he's alright. You know he has trouble with things like this."_

"I know. Don't worry, I've got it covered. Love you mom."

We talked for about another minute before ending the call. I looked over at Logan and let out a sigh. Something told me that this wasn't going to be easy.

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Done! I'm sorry if this chapter was kinda boring, but we'll get to the good stuff soon! And it may seem like Logan is the one that has the breakdown, but everyone has their own breakdown. But there's one person in particular that has a _major_ breakdown. So what'd you all think of the chapter? Please let us know! Until next time!

Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13


	4. I Need You Tonight

A/N: Hello again everybody! So there have been a few people that want us to do this story in third-person, the only thing with that is neither one of us are that great at writing in third-person so it probably wouldn't be that great. We're really sorry about that. But we hope you all enjoy the new chapter!

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I Need You Tonight

True to her word, it only took my mom about twenty minutes to get to the hospital. And after much discussion and arguing, Logan and I decided it would be good to go home and sleep in our own beds. Especially after we found out that James had just finished getting his blood transfusion but wouldn't have any results until tomorrow. Logan and I both knew that if we stayed here we would just be more irritated than usual that we couldn't see James so it was best if we just went home.

I was able to fill my mom in on everything that happened on the ride home, to which she assured us that everything would be fine. But as much as I wanted to believe her, I couldn't help the gut feeling that I had that something was going to go wrong.

I couldn't help but look over at Logan the whole ride home. I knew that he didn't do too well with situations like this. Ever since his parents were killed in a car crash, he had this fear of losing people close to him. When he lost his parents, the guys and I did everything we could to help Logan get through it. And eventually… he did. But that didn't stop him from being scared of losing someone else, which I completely understood because I'm sure if I had lost someone I deeply cared about, it would probably scar me as well.

XxX

As soon as we got home, Logan went straight to his room that he shared with Carlos. I wanted to go after him, but I decided that it would probably be best just to give him a little space for now.

"What are we going to do mom?" I asked, not knowing what to do for once.

"Honey, all we can really do is wait. The doctor said that they should have some information on James tomorrow and it could take days or even weeks to find out any information on Carlos. So we just… wait."

I immediately let out a groan at her words. I didn't want to wait! I wanted to know that my friends were going to be okay! Of course I had faith in James and Carlos and knew that they were strong enough to handle tough situations. But there was still that part of me that was immensely worried.

"Alright." I sighed in defeat, knowing that there really wasn't anything we could do. "I'm going to go check on Logan." I said, not waiting for a response as I started heading to his and Carlos' shared room.

As soon as I got to their room, I noticed Logan sitting on his bed with silent tears streaming down his face.

"Oh Logie…" I whispered as I made my way over to him and brought him into a hug.

"Everything's going to be okay. James and Carlos are strong, they'll get through this. And so will we." I said, trying my best to comfort him. He only nodded his head before laying his head on my shoulder.

I decided not to say anything else out of fear that I would upset him or something. We sat like this for a while before Logan eventually cried himself to sleep. I laid him down and pulled the covers over him before heading to my room that I shared with James.

As I walked into the room, I had to admit that everything was different without James and Carlos. I already knew that we didn't mesh well without all four of us from the whole James/Hawk incident. But this was different. I guess that was because this was a life or death situation that we were in.

I laid down in my bed and instinctively looked over to James bed. I had to admit that I was afraid of what would happen if James didn't make it out of this. James and I… we just balanced each other out. Just as Logan and Carlos balanced each other out. James is the one that kept me grounded because he wasn't afraid to stand up to me when I got out of hand and vice-versa. Of course Logan and Carlos could stand up to us when it was absolutely necessary, but James and I just understood each other better with us both in leadership roles.

I think that's part of the reason that James and I were so much closer that we were with Logan and Carlos. Most people seemed to think that Logan and I were closer than we were with James and Carlos and vice-versa, but it was actually the opposite. I completely understood why Carlos and Logan were so close. Logan kept Carlos from being too dangerous while Carlos brought Logan out of his course we all kind of had an effect on each other because in a way, we all found a way to balance each other out.

I didn't even notice that I was crying until I felt the tears flowing down my face. I turned over on my back, looking up at the blank ceiling.

_Please let James and Carlos make it out of this alive._

I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of someone knocking on the door. I looked up to see Logan standing there.

"What's wrong?" I asked, immediately getting nervous.

"I don't want to sleep alone. It's just… not the same." He said, sending me an apologetic look.

"It's okay. I understand." I said, not wanting him to feel like he was being a bother.

"Thanks." He said, making his way over to James' bed.

"No problem Logie."

It didn't take long before Logan was fast asleep. I had to admit that while it felt better having him in the room, I missed James. He just gave off this… vibe that made me feel safe. I knew that probably sounded kinda strange coming from me, seeing as how I was like the unofficial leader of the group. But James was like my wing-man. When I couldn't handle it, I knew that he would have my back. And without him here, it just made me feel more vulnerable.

With that in mind, I felt a fresh set of tears start to burn at my eyes . And it wasn't long until I cried myself to sleep.

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Poor guys! Sorry that this chapter was a little boring, we just wanted to give you all a little insight to the guys relationship. Next chapter things will start picking up some! So what'd you all think? Please let us know! And we hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13


	5. When We Collide

**A/N: Hey everybody! We're back! We're so sorry for the long wait, but we're back and ready to pick up where we left off! I hope people are still interested in this story and that you all enjoy the new chapter!**

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**When We Collide**

When I woke up, I immediately noticed the distinct smell of bacon. I looked over to James' bed that Logan had occupied last night, only to find it empty. I let out a sigh before heading to the kitchen, not finding the energy to care about cleaning myself up right now.

"Hey Loges." I said as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hey." He muttered.

"I take it you couldn't sleep?" I guessed, noticing the semi-dark circles under his eyes as well as the tired look that they held.

"Not really." He said, doing everything he could to not look at me. Which was pretty easy since he was putting food onto two plates for the both of us.

"Why didn't you wake me up? I would've kept you company or something." I asked, feeling a little pang of guilt that I somehow managed to get a good night's sleep while Logan couldn't.

"I didn't want to bother you. Besides it wouldn't do any good for _both_ of us to miss out on sleep." He said, passing me my plate in the process.

"You wouldn't have bothered me. I had enough sleep to get me through the day but you didn't." I pointed out.

"Yeah? And why were you able to sleep so well considering two of our best friends, _brothers,_ are in the hospital right now?!" He retorted, meeting my eyes for the first time this morning.

"Really Logan? We're going to do this now?" I asked, feeling myself start to get a little angry.

"Yes, we're going to do this now since it seems like I'm the only one that actually cares about the fact that our brothers are in the hospital!"

"You know what Logan, you just need to get over yourself! You actually think that I don't care that Carlos and James are in the hospital?! Two people that I've known practically all of my life!"

"Well you sure as hell don't act like it!"

"Oh, so just because I don't have trouble sleeping at night means that I don't care about them?! Never mind the fact that I freaking _cried_ myself to sleep last night! Never mind the fact that without James here, I feel vulnerable and that something terrible is going to happen!" I yelled, ignoring the tears of anger and sadness that were burning at my eyes and letting out everything that I had been holding in since we got back from the hospital.

We sat there in silence for a few seconds, and I was getting ready to break the silence, but Logan beat me to it.

"I'm sorry." He said in a soft tone.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I know that the stress of the situation is just getting to you. Heck, it's doing the same to me." I muttered, putting my plate in the fridge seeing as how I suddenly wasn't hungry anymore, and heading to the couch.

"You really should eat something." I heard Logan say from behind me.

"I'll eat it later, I promise. I kind of lost my appetite." I said softly, ignoring the sudden dip in the couch signaling that he had taken a seat next to me.

"Look, I know you said that I didn't have anything to be sorry for, but that's not going to stop me from apologizing. I'm sorry I accused you of not caring about the James and Carlos when it's so blatantly obvious that you do. And I'm sorry for getting upset with you in the first place. We shouldn't be fighting, especially when we need each other now more than ever." He said, sending me an apologetic look.

"It's okay Loges. And you're right, we shouldn't be fighting. Especially at a time like this." I sighed, feeling bad about losing my cool like that. But in my defense, he was totally asking for it!

"So… we good?" He asked awkwardly, which made me chuckle a little.

"Yeah, we're good." I said, pulling him into a quick hug.

We sat there in silence for a minute before Logan broke it.

"Look, I know that I'm not James. I can understand why you want him around. You two have always been a little closer than with Carlos and I. But I want you to know that if you need to talk, I'm here."

I had to admit, it was _really_ awkward having Logan assuring me that I could confide in him. Usually it was the other way around. But I still appreciated.

"Thanks Loges. And I'm sorry if I fee made you feel like you're not as important to me as James is. Because you are." I assured him, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

"No it's not that. I just… I guess I just don't really understand the relationship you have with James." He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, something that he only did when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"Well I love all of you guys, but with James it's just… different. I think a big part of it is because him and I are alike in alot of ways, but we're also different. In a way, I think we kind of balance each other out." I started, looking up to see if Logan was listening. I got my confirmation when I saw the thoughtful expression on his face. He nodded his head as a sign for me to continue.

"I know that we butt heads alot, but at the end of the day, he's like my wing-man. He understands the need to protect you and Carlos since you two are younger. And when things get too much for me, I know that I can go to him and he would understand completely. Plus, he's not afraid to tell me when I'm being too stubborn or my usual hard headed self." I said, causing Logan to chuckle a little.

"Yeah, you can be a pain sometimes." He said, laughing even more when I playfully punched his shoulder.

After he had calmed down from laughing, I noticed a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Whatcha thinking about?" I asked, poking his shoulder.

"Nothing. Just you and James' relationship. I think I understand it now."

I couldn't help but smile a little. That was Logan for you, always trying to analyze something.

"Well let's hear it." I said, genuinely interested to hear what he had come up with.

"Well, with you two being the oldest, you both feel the need to protect Carlos and I since we're the youngest. That gives you both common ground. And you two do have alot in common but you're different enough to not get annoyed by each other. You two really are a perfect match." He said, sounding like he was giving a report.

"You make it sound like we're dating or something." I chuckled.

"Well… according to all the Kames shippers out there…" He started, making me groan a little.

"I thought we agreed to _never_ talk about that again!" I groaned, remembering the day that we were accidently introduced to the world of FanFiction and found out how graphic some of our fans were.

"Dude, I saw an opportunity and I took it." He said, laughing at my expense.

I was getting ready to respond when the door to the apartment suddenly opened. I turned towards the door and saw my mom and little sister walk in.

"You boys need to get dressed! Fast!" She said quickly.

"What? Mom what's going on?" I asked, not expecting the next few words that left her mouth.

"The hospital called, they said that James is awake!"

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**Done! First off, we just couldn't resist putting the Kames joke in there! It was too good to pass up! And we know that this chapter was kind of a roller-coaster going from the fight to the talk. But we wanted to show how much this was affecting them and give a little more insight on James and Kendall's relationship because it'll play a pretty important part in the story. We'll also get to Logan and James' relationship soon as well. Anyway, James is awake! Yay! _Please _let us know you're thoughts on this chapter! Maybe we can get five or more reviews for this chapter? ;) We'll try and update again next Saturday! But maybe if we get some reviews, they'll motivate us to update sooner! Until next time!**

-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13


	6. Uneasy

**A/N: Hey everybody! First, we would like to thank everyone that reviewed last chapter! We know we haven't updated in a while so it was nice to see that people were still interested in this story! Second, we know that we changed some things around, but that was to help the story :) We hope you enjoy the new chapter!**

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**Uneasy**

As we walked through the entrance, I couldn't help but feel a little excited that we would finally be able to see James. I knew that I had been kind of difficult the past couple of days, but I was determined to stay strong from here on out. Not only for me, but for Logan and the guys.

"Kendall?"

I looked over at Logan at the sound of him calling my name.

"What's up Loges?" I asked as my mom and little sister went to talk to the receptionist at the front desk.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, giving me a curious look.

"It's nothing." I assured him quickly. "But what about you? I noticed that you looked a little upset in the car but I didn't want to say anything in front Katie or my mom." I told him, reading him carefully to see if I could tell what was wrong.

"I just… What if there's something wrong with James? Both he and Carlos took the blunt of the impact, and you might not know alot about car crashes but I do. I know how much damage they can do. What if he doesn't remember us? Or he has brain damage? Or-"

"Logan!" I yelled, grabbing the attention of a few bystanders. "Sorry." I whispered to them before turning my attention back to Logan who looked like he was getting ready to have a panic attack.

"I'm sure James is fine. The doctor said that as long as James had a successful blood transfusion, everything would be fine. It wasn't anything serious so just calm down." I said, feeling relived when I saw him start to calm down.

"Ok, we're clear to see James. But she said only two people at a time, so I'll let you two see him first." My mom said when she made her way over to us. Logan and I both nodded our heads quickly, feeling very anxious to see him.

With each step we took towards James' hospital room, I couldn't help but ponder over Logan's words. I mean, he _did_ know more about this stuff than I did. What if James really did suffer from some kind of brain damage? Or he didn't remember us? I knew that I wouldn't be able to take it if that was the case.

As soon as those thoughts entered my head, I quickly tried to get rid of them. Surely if something was wrong with James we would've been informed. Wouldn't we?

I felt a little bit of comfort at that thought, but I couldn't help but still worry a little.

We had finally made it to his room, and to say that Logan and I were nervous would be an understatement. The blinds to his room were all closed so we couldn't see inside. Logan and I both just stood there looking at each other, silently pleading the other to make the first move.

After a few seconds, I decided to take the lead. I gave Logan one last look before slowly turning the knob and opening the door.

We both slowly walked in, preparing ourselves for the worse, but we were slightly relieved when we saw James looking pretty healthy and normal minus a few cuts and bruises here and there. I thought that he would look over at us, but to my surprise, he just kept staring at the ceiling.

"Jay?"

He finally looked towards us at the sound of my voice, I felt a small smile creep onto my face at the recognition in his eyes.

"Guys?" He questioned, relief etched in his voice.

"It's us." Logan said, making his way over to James with me not too far behind him.

"I'm so glad to see you guys! The doctors wouldn't tell me anything when I woke up so I just assumed that…" He trailed off. But he didn't need to finish the sentence because I already knew what he was going to say.

"We're okay James. We're right here." I said, giving him a comforting hug in the process, motioning for Logan to join us. We all sat like this for a couple of minutes before James finally broke both the hug and the silence.

"Where's Carlos?" He asked, looking around the room as if he was expecting Carlos to pop up any second.

"Um…"

I looked over at Logan, who was giving me a pleading look. I let out a heavy sigh, giving James a sympathetic look.

"James… Carlos is in a coma. He has a fifty percent chance of survival." I informed him, waiting for the inevitable panic attack. But to my suprise, it never came. I looked up at James and saw a blank expression on his face.

"You're… you're kidding right?" He asked, chuckling lightly. "Yeah that's it. You guys are just messing with me."

Logan and I shared a glance before looking back at James. _Did he really think that we would joke about something like this?_

"James, we aren't joking. Do you actually think that we would joke about something like this?" Logan asked, giving James an incredulous look.

He was getting ready to reply until we noticed Dr. Reynolds entering the room.

"Ah, nice to see that you're finally awake Mr. Diamond." He said in a cheerful voice, clearly oblivious to all the tension that was in the room.

"You can call me James." James said in a soft tone.

"Well James, from what we can tell the blood transfusion was a success. We'll have to run a couple more test just to be sure but then you'll be free to go home." The doctor informed him, although James looked like he could honestly care less. Which really worried me…

"Okay." James muttered, never once taking his eyes away from his hands that he had been wringing together ever since he found out that we really weren't joking about Carlos.

"Alright, I'll be back in a few minutes so that we can get you're test over with. They shouldn't take long so you can leave today." Dr. Reynolds said, finally catching on to the tension in the room before quickly leaving.

"Jay, it'll be okay. Carlos will be fine and-" I started, trying to reassure him but was cut off.

"I think it's best if you guys just wait outside. Like the doctor said, the test shouldn't take long so I should be done soon." He said, still not making eye contact with either of us.

Logan and I shared one last look before heading out of the room.

"We'll see you soon Jay." I said before I walked out the door, hoping to get some kind of response. But to my dismay, I got nothing.

I slowly closed the door to his room before letting out a sigh. I knew that James was upset about Carlos being hurt, but something told me that whatever was bothering him was a little bigger than that. And I was determined to find out what was going on in that mind of his.

* * *

**Done! So, we're sorry if this chapter is kinda crappy. But this is just a setting up for what's to come! So although the chapter was kind of lame, what did you all think?! Do you think there is a bigger reason that James is upset? _Please _let us know in a review! And if we can get five or more reviews on this chapter, we'll upload the next chapter by Tuesday at the latest! ;) So please review (Again, even though this chapter was a little crappy)! Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13**


	7. Guilt

**A/N: Hey everybody! We would like to give a shout out to winterschild11 and unnaturalstories for reviewing the last chapter! And we would also like to thank everyone that's been reading, favoriting, and following this story! Your support means alot to us and we hope you enjoy the new chapter!**

**Guilt**

After a couple of hours, James was given the okay to be discharged from the hospital. All of his test came out good, but the doctor said that he would have to take it easy for the next week or two just to make sure that there wouldn't be any complications.

As we made our way back to the Palm Woods, I found myself glancing over to James every few minutes. Ever since we filled him in about Carlos' condition he's been acting weird. I was trying my best not to say anything until the two of us were alone. Mostly because I didn't want to make Logan nervous, especially if it turned out that there was nothing wrong with the brunette.

Before I knew it, we were at the Palm Woods. I was getting ready to ask James if we could talk, but as soon as the car stopped, he headed straight for the lobby.

"What's up with him?" Logan asked, turning to face me.

"Uh, he _really_ had pee." I said. And while it was a lame excuse, it worked.

"I understand. When you gotta go, you gotta go." Logan said, chuckling a little as I inwardly let out a relieved sigh.

I immediately headed towards my shared room when we made it up to 2J, knowing that's where James would be. Just as I guessed, James was in our room laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling.

"Hey." I said, taking a seat at the foot of his bed.

"Hey." He replied in a monotone voice.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" I asked, starting to get a little more worried.

"Nothing's wrong with me." He said in that same monotone voice, never taking his eyes off the ceiling.

"Don't give me that crap James! _Obviously _something's wrong!" I said, my nervousness quickly turning into anger.

"I already told you Kendall, there's nothing wrong with me. Just leave it at that." He said, finally looking at me. When I looked into his eyes, I could see all of the conflicting emotions that were running through them. Anger, sadness, and the most prominent one, guilt.

"Jay, you're one of my best friends. _Brothers._ You can tell me anything. I promise I won't judge you." I said, hoping that this would get him to open up.

We sat there in silence for a few seconds before he finally responded.

"It's my fault." He said so quietly that I barely heard it.

"What's your fault?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Everything. That we were in that accident. That Carlos is in a coma. Everything." He said with guilt laced in his voice.

"You… you can't actually believe that our accident was your fault." I said incredulously, staring at him intently.

"Yes it was! I was the one that encouraged you guys to go. Carlos wanted to go, but you and Logan weren't sure about going. If I hadn't encouraged you, we wouldn't have gotten into that accident, Carlos wouldn't be in a coma, and everything would be fine!" He said, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"James…" I sighed, feeling a slight headache coming on. "_None _of this is your fault. You and Carlos were right. We haven't been spending much time together lately. It was a good idea. We just happened to leave at the wrong time." I assured him, hoping to get through to him. But of course things just couldn't be that simple.

"No. I should've listened to you guys. You tried to tell us that it was dangerous to go out while it was raining like that. Carlos was so excited that he didn't care about the roads being slick. I honestly knew how dangerous it could be, but I just brushed it off."

"Jay, you-" I started, but was stopped by James.

"You just don't understand Kendall." He said before getting up and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, following him as he made his way to the living room.

"I just need some time to think. I'll be back later." He said, before walking out the door.

"What's going on?" Logan asked as he made his way over to me.

"James, he blames himself for the accident." I said, taking a seat on the couch, still trying to process what just happened.

"What?! That's ridiculous!" He said, giving me the same incredulous look that I gave James.

"Tell me about it. I tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault. But he thinks that if he hadn't sided with Carlos then none of this would've happened."

"Well, when you put it that way…" Logan started.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked in an accusatory tone.

"I'm not trying to be mean, but we _did_ try to tell them that it was dangerous to go out." He said, giving me a nervous look.

"That doesn't make it his fault! Both he and Carlos just wanted the four of us to hang out together! It's not his fault somebody lost control of their car!"

"I didn't say that it was his fault that someone lost control of their car! I'm just saying that this could've been prevented." He retorted.

"Whatever." I said, going back into my shared room and slamming the door.

I let out a sigh as I slid down to the floor. I felt bad for yelling at Logan, but now was not the time to be blaming each other. We needed to stick together now more than ever. But it seemed like we were doing the opposite and drifting away from each other.

I knew that I needed to work thing out with Logan, but right now I just wanted to be alone. I walked over to my bed before laying down, silently praying for four things.

One, that Carlos would make it out of this okay. Two, that Logan and I would work things out. Three, that James would stop blaming himself for everything. And four, that our friendship would survive.

* * *

**Done! So we're sorry if this chapter wasn't great, but things are starting to pick up! What do you all think of James? What about Kendall and Logan? Please let us know you're thoughts in a review! There should be another update next Saturday, maybe earlier if we can get a few reviews ;) Until next time!**

**-EpicallyObsessed & EpicRusher13**


	8. Drunk

**A/N: Hello everybody! First off, we'd like to give a shoutout to **lizzie wars **and **winterchild11 **for reviewing the last chapter! We'd also like to thank everyone who has been sticking with this story! **

**Lizzie wars: There will definitely be some Kendall angst coming up! ;) **

**Winterschild11: It really is. And you'll get to see how that affects James over the course of the next few chapters. **

**I hope you all enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

**Drunk**

I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting on the floor, but I knew that it had been a while. I forced myself to look up at the clock, seeing that I had been sitting here for almost an hour. I let out a sigh as I got up from my position on the floor. As soon as I was up, my drifted to Logan. I knew that I needed to fix things with him, we couldn't afford to be fighting at a time like this. We needed to be there to support each other, not fight and blame each other.

I reluctantly placed my hand on the knob of my door and turned it. I wasn't sure if Logan was upset with me or not, but I was prepared for the worst. When the door was open, I slowly made my way to the living room, hoping that he was still there. And to my relief, he was.

"Hey." I said softly, effectively getting his attention.

"Kendall! Look, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have blamed James like that." He said, guilt laced in his voice.

"No, _I'm _sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did." I said, nervously rubbing the back of my neck.

"I guess the stress of this whole situation is getting to us, huh?" He asked, although it seemed more like he was asking himself.

"That's just it Logan. We can't afford to be fighting, especially at a time like this. We're supposed to be sticking together and helping each other through this. But it just seems like we're drifting apart." I said, deciding to voice my opinions and concerns.

"You're right." He said, before letting out a sigh.

"How about this?" I started. "From here on out, no more fighting. We just be there for each other, and talk things out instead of fighting about it." I said, to which he immediately nodded his head.

"The way it should be." He said, giving me a small smile.

We sat there in a comfortable silence for about a minute before I remembered something.

"Hey, has James made it back yet?" I asked, starting to become a little worried.

As soon as the words left my mouth, James walked through the door. As soon as I saw him, my jaw dropped. His hair was matted to his head from all the sweat that was clearly visible on his forehead, his eyes were glazed over and unfocused, and he was struggling just stay standing.

"JAMES!" Logan and I exclaimed as James collapsed. I made it over to him just in time to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Can you help me get him to the couch?" I asked Logan, who nodded his head.

I hooked my arms under James' as Logan grabbed his feet. We carefully lifted him off the ground before heading towards the couch. As we set him down, I could smell the strong scent of alcohol radiating from the brunette.

I looked up at Logan, who must have smelt it as well because he was giving me the same shocked look. I was getting ready to say something when my mom suddenly walked in.

"Hey boys. I just wanted to see if you wanted to go with Katie and I to the store. I thought maybe it would take your mind off things…" She said, clearly trying to keep from saying the wrong thing.

"I would, but James isn't feeling too well." I said, moving over so that she could see him.

"What's wrong with him? Is he sick? Does he need to go to the doctor?" She asked, quickly going into motherly mode as she checked his damp forehead to see if he had a fever.

"He'll be fine." I assured her. "I'm going to stay here and watch over James but Logan can go with you." I said, trying to take the attention off James. I noticed the panicked look on Logan's face at my words.

"Ok. Let me grab my purse and we can go." She said to Logan before leaving the room.

"What did you do that for?! You know I panic under pressure! What if I let it slip that James got drunk?!" He whisper/yelled, looking like he was seconds away from having a panic attack.

"I'm sorry! But I didn't want her getting suspicious and I was thinking that maybe you can distract her." I said, leaving out the fact that I had my own agenda.

"Ugh, fine! But you owe me!"

"Thank you!" I said, pulling him in for a quick hug.

"Logan? You ready to go?" My mom asked as both her and Katie entered the room.

"Yes, Mama Knight." He said, sending me one more glare before following them out the door.

"We'll be back soon, but just call if you need anything. Love you!" I heard my mom say.

"Love you too!" I called back.

As soon as I heard the door close, I turned back to James. I let out a sigh as I took a seat next to him. I knew that we needed to talk. Now was the perfect time since we were alone, but at the same time, part of me wanted to wait.

Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to make a decision, because I heard James groan next to me.

* * *

**Done! Sorry that this chapter is kind of short, but we didn't want it to be too long, and this seemed like a good place to stop. Next chapter is going to pick up right where this one left off, and quite a bit is going to happen. Most importantly, you all will get to see what happened to James and what caused him to get drunk. So _please _let us know your thoughts in a review! Next chapter should be up within a few days, so be sure to be on the lookout for it! Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13**


	9. Explanations

**A/N: Hello everyone! Before we get started, we just want to thank everyone that has stuck with this story so far! We would also like to give a shoutout to **winterschild11** and **lizzie wars** for reviewing the last chapter! Hope you all enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

**Explanations**

I immediately froze when I heard James groan next to me. I watched as he started to stir, his hands going straight to his head as he let out another groan of pain.

"What happened?" He asked, wincing a little as he opened his eyes.

"You got drunk. That's what happened." I said, not meaning for it to come out as harsh as it did. But I couldn't really help it, because I was more than a little pissed off right now.

"K-Kendall…" He stammered, struggling to sit up.

"Save it James! How could you do something so stupid?!" I yelled, ignoring the look of pain on his face.

"P-please stop yelling." He whimpered, holding his head in his hands. I was getting ready to yell again, that was, until I noticed the tears starting to form in his eyes. My anger was immediately replaced with concern. Well, most of it anyway.

"Come here." I sighed, pulling him into a comforting hug. As soon as I wrapped my arms around him, he broke down into sobs.

"It's okay. Just let it all out." I urged him, rubbing soothing circles into his back.

I was still upset that he went out and did something so incredibly stupid, but seeing the brunette now, I knew that something must've triggered it. And I was pretty sure I knew what that something was.

After about five minutes, James' sobs had finally died down. I got up, getting ready to go to the bathroom, but James stopped me.

"W-where are you going?" He asked.

"I'll be back in a minute." I said, slipping away from his grasp.

As soon as I got into the bathroom, I grabbed a small face towel and wet it with slightly warm water before wringing it out.

I returned to the living room to find James in the exact same spot on the couch.

"Here you go." I said softly, handing him the towel.

I watched as he cleaned himself up, occasionally stopping for whatever reason.

As he did that, I went to the kitchen to get him a glass of ice water. When I got back, he had finished cleaning up and looking much better than before. You wouldn't have even been able to tell that he had been crying if it wasn't for the red rimmed eyes.

"Here. I know it won't get rid of the hangover but it should help." I said, handing him the glass of water, which he completely drank in a matter of seconds.

"Better?" I asked as he set the glass down.

"A little. Thanks Kendall." He said, giving me a small smile.

"No problem buddy. But you know we're going to have to talk about it. Right?" I said, wanting him to know that he wasn't getting out of this. He slowly nodded his head, giving me a nervous look.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before starting.

"I guess it all started when we got back from the hospital. I was so upset about what happened."

"Which you know wasn't your fault right?" I asked, hoping that he wasn't still blaming himself for this.

"Kendall, no matter what you guys say or how many times you say it, it doesn't change the fact that this is my fault." He said, frustrating me even more.

"James-" I started, only to be cut off by the brunette.

"I don't want to hear it Kendall. You know how Carlos is when he sets his mind on something. We all do, especially me. I'm usually the only one that can talk him out of it. I had the chance to prevent this, but I didn't."

I let out a sigh, knowing that James could be just as stubborn as me once his mind was made up on something.

"You're an idiot. You know that?" I asked, only partly joking.

"You aren't getting any arguments from me." He said, sinking deeper into the couch.

"Look, I know that things are bad right now. But we need to stick together, especially now. We shouldn't be drifting away from each other. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, we're here for you man. I know that I probably can't convince you that none of this is your fault, but if the guilt ever gets too much, or if you have something on your mind, I want you to promise me that you'll come and talk to one of us. Okay?" I said, hoping that if I couldn't convince him that this wasn't his fault, I could at least be there to talk him out of doing something to drastic.

He looked at me for a few seconds before hesitantly nodding his head.

"Okay. I promise to talk to someone if it becomes too much." He said in a small voice that I knew all too well.

"Hey, you have nothing to be ashamed of." I said, knowing that he was beating himself up over feeling so guilty.

"Why can't I be more like you? All calm, cool and collected. Maybe then I wouldn't be so weak."

I let out a groan frustration at James' words. I hated when he got like this. Not many people knew it, but James wasn't always as confident and self-absorbed as he appeared to be. He could be so insecure and selfless when he wanted to be. And when something's bothering him, he usually puts up a front for everyone so that they won't notice. I'm usually the only one that can see right through him though.

"That's just it James. You're more like me than you know. I mean, we're both stubborn and overly protective of those that we care about just to name a few. This doesn't make you weak, it's part of what makes you James." I told him, watching as a small smile started to form on his face.

"Thanks Kendall. You always know what to say to make me feel better."

"Anytime buddy." I said, pulling him in for one more hug.

We sat there in silence for a few seconds before the door suddenly opened. We looked up so see my mom, little sister and Logan walking in. I immediately noticed the solemn expressions on their faces.

"What's wrong?" I asked, starting to get a little worried seeing the unshed tears in my mom's eyes.

"Kendall, something happened…"

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**Done! Even though that probably wasn't the best place to leave it… Sorry that this chapter wasn't all that great, but the next chapter will definitely be better. I'm not sure if we'll be continuing the story, but we're going to wait a few chapters to make a decision. It just kinda seems like people are losing interest in this story. Anyway, _please _let us know you're thoughts and if we should continue. Next chapter should be up on either Monday or Tuesday of next week! Until next time. **

**-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13**


	10. Terrified

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Before we get started, we would like to give shoutouts to **winterschild11**, **KatelynLovesPenaAndMaslow**, **'watatwa'**,** lizzie wars**, **Chey21**, and **PotterHeadLife** for reviewing the last chapter! We honestly weren't sure if we should continue or not, but we decided to continue for you all **** We also want to thank everyone that has been reading, favoriting and following this story! We hope you all enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

**Terrified **

I couldn't help the few tears that escaped my eyes as I stared at the limp and lifeless body. My thoughts immediately going back to all the good times that we had before recent events. I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay Ken." Logan said, trying to fight back tears himself as he gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"No it's not Logan! None of this is okay! Carlos _died_! Even if it was only for a minute, it still happened. He's in there fighting for his _life_, James wouldn't even come here with us because he's blaming himself for everything, _nothing_ is okay!" I snapped, not even trying to hold back the tears anymore as I sat down on the floor.

I guess Logan didn't have a response to that as he followed my lead and sat down next to me. We sat there in silence until Logan broke it.

"How do you think James is taking it?" He asked, worry laced in his voice.

"Not well." I replied, remembering the broken look on his face when we found out the news.

"Maybe one of us should call and check up on him." Logan suggested, a hesitant look on his face.

"I'll do it." I said, knowing that I would probably have more luck than Logan would if James needed comforting.

I got up while taking out my phone, dialing the memorized number in the process. It only took a few rings until the ringing suddenly stopped.

"_H-hello?" _He answered in a shaky voice, signaling that he had been crying.

"Jay…" I sighed, wishing I could be there for the brunette.

"_It h-hurts Ken. I just w-want Carlos to be okay." _

"I know buddy. We all do. But Carlos is a fighter. You just gotta have faith and believe that he's going to make it." I said, hoping that my words would at least somewhat comfort him.

"_B-but we already l-lost him once. Who's to s-say it won't happen a-again?" _

"Jay we can't think like that. We have to stay positive. Besides, Carlos wouldn't want his Party King buddy to be so upset would he?" I asked, deciding to try a different approach.

"_I g-guess not." _He said, chuckling a little. I couldn't help the small smile that formed on my face. It had been a while since I heard him laugh. It had been a while since any of us laughed actually. And while it wasn't exactly a full laugh, I considered it progress.

"That's the spirit. Now Logan and I are going to be here for another hour or so just to make sure that everything is alright with Carlos, then we'll be back home. Think you'll be okay until then?" I asked, wanted to make sure that he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"_I'll be f-fine. Just m-make sure Carlos is o-okay."_ He sniffled.

"I will. We'll see you soon buddy."

"_A-alright. And thanks again Ken." _

"No problem Jay." I said before we exchanged goodbyes.

"How is he?" Logan asked, worry laced in his voice as he popped up out of nowhere.

"He's getting better. I can tell that he's still upset, but we can't expect for him to get over something like this overnight." I said, to which Logan nodded in agreement.

"Well the doctor should be back in about fifteen minutes with Carlos' results. They said that they ran some test earlier." Logan informed me, to which I just nodded.

"Alright. Well I'm going to go for a walk.' I said, immediately noticing the look on Logan's face. "Don't worry. I'll be back in a few." I assured him before walking off, not giving him a chance to object.

I was aimlessly walking around, just wanting to take my mind off of things, when I suddenly came to Carlos' room. I couldn't help but stare at the almost lifeless body. If it wasn't for the very slight rise and fall of his chest, I really would've believed that he was dead. I took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to walk in. As I walked in, I grabbed one of the chairs near the door, pulling over to the side of Carlos' bed before taking a seat.

"Hey Carlitos, it's me. Kendall." I said, mentally slapping myself. Of course he knows it's me! I think… "Anyway, I don't know if you can hear me or not, but if you can I want you to listen closely." I said, taking another deep breath as I grasped his cold hands.

"I know this is probably alot to ask, but I need you to wake up soon buddy. We're all falling apart. James would kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but he's a wreck. He keeps blaming himself for the accident, which is ridiculous, I know. But it's true. And I'm scared that he's going to do something stupid because of it. I know there's probably more going on in that head of his than he's willing to tell us." I admitted, knowing that James could be just as stubborn as I was when it came to accepting help from others.

"And Logan, he's not taking it as bad. But I can tell it's affecting him. He just seems a little more paranoid and nervous than usual. My mom and Katie are taking it better than I thought they would. There's definitely been tears, but then again, all of us has shed tears at one point or another." I said, feeling a few tears start to form in my eyes.

"And then there's me. I know I may seem like I'm taking it well, but in all honesty, I'm not. I guess I'm just trying to be strong for everyone. I'm terrified. I'm terrified of alot of things actually. Terrified that I'll wake up one morning and you'll suddenly be gone, terrified that James might snap and do something drastic, terrified that things won't be the same after all this is over... I just… I _need _you to wake up so that hopefully, things can go back to normal." I said, not bothering to wipe away the few stray tears that fell from my eyes.

"Just… can you at least give me a sign? Something to let me know that you're okay?" I asked, hoping for some kind of movement. I let out a sigh, realizing that it was probably pointless to hope for something like that.

"Well, um… I gotta go. But… _please _wake up soon… okay Los?"

With that, I left the room, not once glancing back as I finally broke down and let everything out.

* * *

Done! Again, we want to thank everyone that reviewed the last chapter! We weren't sure if people were still interested in this story so we were glad to see that you all are still interested! So what did you all think of the Kames conversation? How about the Kenlos scene? Or just the chapter in general? Let us know! Next chapter is about halfway finished so it should be posted soon! Until next time!

-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13


	11. What He Doesn't Know

**A/N: Hello everyone! It's time for another update! We would like to thank **winterschild11 **for reviewing the last chapter! Also, a major thank you to everyone that has stuck with this story! We hope everyone enjoys the new chapter!**

**What He Doesn't Know**

"James! We're back!" I called out as we stepped into the apartment.

"I'm going to take Katie to her room. She's kinda tuckered out." My mom said before carrying Katie to her room.

I could tell from her tear stained cheeks that she had probably cried herself to sleep, which made my heart ache a little. Katie might act tough around the guys, but I knew that she considered all of them brothers just as much as she did me. Which made sense since she practically grew up with all four of us around most of the time.

"Hey guys." James said as he walked out of our shared room.

His eyes were still a little red from crying not too long ago and his hair was a little disheveled , but other than that he looked okay.

"Hey." Logan and I said as we joined him on the couch.

"So how's Carlos?" He asked, giving us a slightly worried look.

"Uh…" Logan said while glancing over at me.

"Well, they said that he's stable now. They weren't exactly sure what caused them to lose him, but they were able to save him and stabilize him for now." I said, discreetly sending a glare towards Logan.

"Did they tell you what the chances were of it happening again were?" James asked, taking a shaky breath.

"Not really." I said, feeling a slight pang of guilt in my chest.

He nodded before turning his head towards the blank TV.

"Hey Logan, can I talk to you for a minute?" I said, grabbing him and dragging him to James and I's shared room before he got a chance to respond.

"You're going to blow our cover!" I whisper-yelled as soon as the door to the room was closed.

"I'm sorry! But I told you I'm horrible under pressure!" He exclaimed before taking a calming breath.

"Look, James can't find out about Carlos. He's already close to the edge, I don't want to say or do anything that might push him too far." I said, knowing that if he knew what we knew, it wouldn't end well.

_*Flashback*_

_Logan and I were waiting for any news regarding Carlos when we noticed someone familiar standing not too far away._

"_Dr. Reynolds?" I questioned, making my way over to the doctor. _

_He turned towards us, a look of recognition flashing across his face before a small smile appeared. _

"_Hello boys. Nice to see you again." He said, shaking both of our hands._

"_Nice to see you too." I said, happy that we found someone who might be able to give us some information. _

"_I take it you've already heard about Carlos?" He asked, giving us a sympathetic look as Logan and I nodded our heads._

"_Have you heard anything?" Logan asked._

"_I'm sorry boys. But Carlos is struggling to hold on at this point. His body has already failed once, and it's very rare for someone to survive for long after their body shuts down." He explained._

"_Are you saying…" I started, not able to finish the sentence. _

"_I'm saying that unless Carlos miraculously wakes up from his coma, which is highly unlikely, his body is going to shut down again. And this time, I don't know if we'll be able to save him again." He said, sadness laced in his voice. _

"_No…" I whispered, trying to wrap my head around everything._

"_Dr. Reynolds, we have a situation." A nurse said as she walked over to us, glancing over at Logan and I._

"_I'll be there in just a second." He told her before turning back to us._

"_I'm really sorry boys. I know this is something that isn't easy to go through. But like I said, there is still a small chance that Carlos will pull through. Instead of focusing on the negative, try and focus on that, and hang on to that hope that Carlos will make it through." He said, giving us both a small yet comforting smile before following the nurse to another room._

"_What are we going to do?" Logan asked, fighting back a few tears._

"_We're going to do exactly what he said. Not focus on the negative, and hold on to the fact that Carlos is strong and will be able to pull through this." I said, wiping away a couple tears of my own. "And we can't tell James about this." I added._

"_What? Why not?" Logan asked, giving me a confused look._

"_You know James. He already blames himself for the accident. And knowing him, he'll probably find some way to put the blame on himself for this as well." I said._

"_Kendall! You know I can't pull this off! I'm horrible under pressure! I've been telling you this for years! And what happens if James finds out that we kept this from him?" He asked, giving me an incredulous look._

"_He won't find out because neither of us are going to tell him. You're just going to have to do your best acting." I said, ignoring the look of panic on his face._

"_I know this isn't going to end well." He groaned before throwing his head back in frustration._

_*Flashback End*_

"I can't do this Kendall. I can't lie to him knowing that he would most likely be pissed if he found out we were keeping something like this from him." He said, glaring at me.

"Logan, just think about it. I know that this is risky, I just don't want anything to happen to him. You weren't there when I comforted him when he came home drunk or when I talked to him when we were at the hospital. He just seemed so… fragile. I've never seen him like this, and it's honestly freaking me out. Just… _please _don't say anything. At least not yet." I said, giving him a pleading look.

"I don't know…" He said, a hint of hesitance in his voice. I could tell that he was thinking about it though.

"Please?" I pleaded again, giving him the best puppy dog look I could muster up.

"Fine! But if we get caught you're taking the fall for this!" He whisper-yelled while brushing past me.

"Deal!" I called after him before running to catch up.

I followed him back into the living room, expecting James to be still be sitting on the couch. But he was nowhere to be found.

"Mom? Where's James?" I asked, noticing her walking out of Katie's room.

"Oh, he said that he was going for a walk and that he would be back soon." She said while taking a seat on the couch.

Logan and I exchanged worried glances, remembering what happened that last time James 'went for a walk'.

While I was worried for my friend's well-being, I also knew that I would personally kick James' ass if he came home drunk again!

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**Done! So this was sort of a filler chapter, but you did get to find out what happened after Kendall left Carlos' room and that Kendall has decided that it's best to not tell James about Carlos' situation. What are your thoughts on Kendall's decision? Or the chapter in general? Please let us know! Next chapter should be up next Saturday! Possibly sooner! Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13**


	12. Hours Without Drama

**A/N: Hello again everyone! We would like to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter! It really means alot and motivates us to keep the story going! There are only a few more chapters of this story left so we hope you all enjoy the remainder of it! **

**Hours Without Drama**

It had been about an hour since James had left. Logan and I were just sitting on the couch staring at the TV, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

"You know, I think maybe we should go to the mall." I suggested.

"What?" Logan asked, giving me a weird look.

"For James. I was thinking that maybe if we take him out for a couple hours, maybe that'll cheer him up a little." I said, seeing that it was only 4:00.

Logan was getting ready to respond when James suddenly walked in.

"Where've you been?" Logan asked, giving him an analytical look.

I had to admit that I was wondering that myself. James looked like he was completely drenched in sweat, his breathing was a little off, and he looked exhausted.

"Well, I was originally just going to go for a walk. But somehow that turned into a run." He said, still trying to catch his breath.

"So you've been running non-stop for an hour? While its ninety degrees outside?! " Logan asked incredulously, to which James just gave him a nervous smile.

"It's not like I meant to! It just sort of happened…" James said defensively.

"Anyway, Logan and I were wondering if you wanted to go to the mall with us?" I asked, cutting Logan off before he started lecturing James.

"I don't know…" James said with a hesitant look on his face.

"Come on Jay. I think that with everything that's happened lately we just need a little time to take our minds off things for a bit. We'll only be out two or three hours tops." I said, giving him a hopeful look.

"Fine. Just let me shower and change then I'll be ready." He sighed before walking into our shared room.

As soon as he was out of the room, I gently nudged Logan.

"Really?" I asked, chuckling a little.

"What?" He asked grumpily.

"You were seriously getting ready to start lecturing him?"

"Hey, it's dangerous to work out in heat like that without being properly hydrated!" He said while crossing his arms.

"Whatever you say Loges." I said before turning my attention back to the TV.

After about thirty minutes, James emerged from our shared room.

"Ready." He said, a small smile on his face.

XxX

"He actually seems to be enjoying himself a little." Logan said as we watched James walk through Aéropostale.

"Yeah." I replied. I could tell that James was having a little trouble fully enjoying himself, which was understandable under the circumstances. But at least he was having a little fun, if even a little.

After a couple more minutes, James had checked out and met us outside of the store.

"Where to next?" He asked, holding a couple of bags in his hands.

"Well I'm going to run into Barnes & Noble. There's a book I've been wanting to get for a while but never had the chance." Logan said before running off into the store, making James and I chuckle a little.

"Hey, I'm getting ready to go into Champ's for a minute." He said, before starting to head towards the sports store that was not too far away to Barnes & Noble.

"I'll go with you." I said while following him, a little curious as to what he could want out of a sports store.

As soon as we walked in, we were met with an array of different shoes and jersey's. I looked at James, noticing him scanning the store for something.

"Looking for anything in particular?" I asked, wanting to know if I could help in any way.

"Found it." He said while smiling a little. "Follow me." He said to me as he started heading towards the back of the store.

As soon as we made it to the back, I immediately understood why James wanted to come in here as I looked at the assortment of different helmets.

Carlos had lost his helmet a few months ago and when he couldn't find it, the guys and I tried to convince him that he didn't need it anymore. And while he didn't agree, he did let it go.

"I was thinking that he would probably like another helmet. Plus, if he had his helmet on when the crash happened, he probably wouldn't be in this situation." James said, blinking back tears as he picked up a helmet that looked almost exactly like that one that he had lost.

"I know he'll love it." I said, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze.

He wiped away a couple of stray tears as we made our way to the front of the store and checked out.

When we walked out of the store, we noticed Logan walking out of Barnes & Noble with his book at the same time that we walked out.

"Alright guys, I think that we should start heading back in a few minutes." I said, noticing that it was getting close to 7:00.

"Sounds good to me. I'm exhausted." James said, letting out a yawn.

We walked around for about fifteen more minutes before getting ready to head out of the mall.

"Hey." James whispered to me, glancing up at Logan who was ahead of us.

"What's up?" I whispered back.

"Thanks for this. I know it was your idea. And I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with these past few days. But this really did help." He said, giving me a small smile.

"No problem buddy. I just wanted you to have a little fun. I know you've been hurting so I'm glad that we were able to take your mind off things for a little while." I said, smiling a little myself.

I wasn't sure how long James would be like this, I just hoped that nothing else went wrong to make him revert back to his guilty self.

* * *

**Done! Sorry this chapter was a little shorter than usual and wasn't up to par with other chapters, we just wanted a little break from any major drama. Again, there are only a few more chapters left of this story, and we'll be caught up to the first chapter in about one or two more chapters! So what'd you all think of James this chapter? He's finally enjoying himself a little, but will it last? _Please _let us know you're thoughts on this chapter! Next update _might _be sometime this weekend! Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13**


	13. Timebomb

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Time for another chapter! We would like to thank **winterchild11 **for reviewing last chapter! Hopefully everyone enjoys the new chapter!**

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**Timebomb**

It had been a couple days since we had taken James to the mall and unfortunately, he had went back into his funk. It wasn't as intense as it was before, but it was still enough to be worried about.

We had just finished watching The Hunger Games and were getting ready to start watching the Avengers when James suddenly spoke up.

"Hey guys, I'm pretty tired so I think I'm just going to head in early." He said, giving us an apologetic look.

"Okay, I guess…" Logan said, looking like he wanted to say something.

"Are you sure you don't want to watch one more movie with us?" I asked, thinking that we might be able to cheer him up if we got him to stay a little longer.

"Nah, I'm just going to call it a night." He said while getting up from the couch.

"Alright then. Goodnight Jay." I said, followed by a "Night James." from Logan.

"Night guys." He said before going off to our shared room.

**James P.O.V.**

I let out a sigh when I walked into Kendall and I's shared room.

I really hated feeling so down and guilty, and I felt bad for Logan and Kendall having to deal with me. But I was sure that they understood and didn't take it too personally.

I also felt bad for leaving them like that, but I really was tired plus, I didn't want to stop them from having fun.

I quickly washed up and changed clothes before getting into bed, falling asleep minutes later.

XxX

When I woke up, it was still dark outside. I looked over and the clock and noticed that it was almost 1 a.m.

I winced a little when I went to swallow, my throat feeling really dry. I got up out of the bed and started heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

As soon as I walked out of my shared room I heard voices that obviously belonged to Kendall and Logan. I was getting ready to walk around the corner and do my best not to eavesdrop, that is until I heard my name.

As soon as I heard my name, I quietly made my way to the corner making sure that they couldn't see me as I listened.

"_What do you mean what are we going to do about James?" _Logan asked, with a slightly accusatory tone to his voice.

"_You _know_ what I mean Logan." _Kendall replied in a tired voice._ "He's just been… _off _lately. And I know that it's not his fault, but it's really starting to irritate me." _

I felt my heartbeat quicken at Kendall's words.

'_I haven't been _that _difficult to be around. Have I?' _I asked myself.

"_Kendall… you don't mean that." _Logan said softly, although he didn't sound too sure of himself.

It was silent for a few seconds, with me anxiously waiting for Kendall's response.

"_I'm sorry Logan, but I am. I hate to say it, but I'm just tired. I'm trying to be strong and get through this, but I can't do that while I'm worrying about James wondering when he's just going to breakdown. Just admit it Logan, he's a ticking timebomb at this point!" _Kendall yelled, finally losing it.

I couldn't listen anymore, I quietly made my way back to my shared room, closing the door behind me. I wiped away the silent tears that were rolling down my face, only for more to take their place/

I should've known that this was going to happen. I had been so engrossed in my emotions that I didn't even stop to think about how Kendall and Logan might be feeling. I was being selfish and didn't even realize it.

'_Maybe they'd just be better off without me.' _I thought to myself before drifting off again, crying myself to sleep.

**Kendall P.O.V.**

Logan and I had just finished watching The Avengers and were getting ready to head in when I suddenly decided to say what was on my mind.

"What are we going to do about James?" I asked, making sure to keep my voice low enough so that James wouldn't be able to hear us from the room if he happened to wake up.

"What do you mean what are we going to do about James?" Logan asked with a slightly accusatory tone to his voice.

"You _know _what I mean Logan." I said, knowing that he knew what I was trying to say. "He's just been… _off _lately. And I know that it's not his fault, but it's really starting to irritate me." I said honestly, venting out all the things that I knew I would never be able to say to James.

I could see the mix of emotions in the look Logan was giving me. He mostly looked disappointed, but I knew that there was a part of him that understood, and another part that was still trying to process everything.

"Kendall… you don't mean that." He said softly after a few seconds, sounding a little unsure.

"I'm sorry Logan, but I am. I hate to say it, but I'm just tired. I'm trying to be strong and get through this, but I can't do that while I'm worrying about James wondering when he's just going to breakdown. Just admit it Logan, he's a ticking timebomb at this point!" I yelled, finally letting out all of my emotion that I had been bottling up since the incident.

"Ok, I understand that you're upset, but that doesn't mean you can blame James and take it out on him!" Logan said, quickly getting angry himself.

I was getting ready to say something but Logan cut me off.

"Look, it's not James' fault! Do you think if he had a choice that he would be feeling so bad and guilty about the situation? He obviously feels bad, but that doesn't make him a bad person, it makes him a great friend for even being worried the way he is! And you can't blame him because you don't know how to handle your own emotions!" He snapped, effectively shocking me, especially with that last part. And judging by the look on his face, he knew it.

"Yeah, I know you Kendall. You bottle up your emotions until you can't take it anymore. Which, you have to stop doing because one day you're going to hurt someone. What would you have done if James had heard your little confession?" He asked, immediately making me realize what had just happened.

"You're right…" I whispered, honestly not knowing what I would have done if James had heard me.

"Look, obviously you got my point…" He said, giving me a sympathetic look. "Why don't we just get some rest? I'm sure it'll do us both some good. "

I nodded my head, still feeling incredibly guilty. That guilt only intensified when I walked into my shared room, noticing the brunette sleeping somewhat peacefully.

"I'm sorry Jay." I said, even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

I washed up and changed before laying down, falling asleep minutes later.

* * *

**Done! So yeah, James heard part of Logan and Kendall's argument and thinks that the guys would be better off without him Next chapter is where we'll catch up to the first chapter, and there are five chapters left. So what'd you all think about this chapter? _Please _let us know! Next chapter will be up soon! Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13**


	14. Breakdown

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Before we get started, we would like to thank BigTimeRusher1092 and rusher36 for reviewing the last chapter! As promised, this chapter is where we catch up to the prologue so you all see who has the breakdown (even though it's a little obvious now). We hope you enjoy!**

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**Breakdown**

I let out a groan as I woke up, my eyes adjusting to the brightness as I opened my eyes.

After a few seconds, my eyes had adjusted. I looked over towards James' bed, only to find it empty. I didn't think much of it since he usually got up early to go jog.

I went through my morning routine before heading to the kitchen, suprised to find James there.

"Hey." I said, as I made my way over to the fridge.

"Hey." He said curtly before heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, noticing that he wasn't in his usual jogging attire.

"Out." Was all he said before he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

'_What's up with him?' _I asked myself, trying to think of anything that could be wrong. That's when my mind went back to last night. Maybe he overheard Logan and I talking…

"What's with the door slamming?" Logan groaned as made his way into the kitchen, still looking half-asleep.

"Uh, James just left and he kinda slammed the door behind him." I said, still staring at the door James had just walked out of.

"Is he alright?" Logan asked, waking up a little after hearing about James.

"I don't know. He seemed a little… on edge." I said, not knowing how else to describe it.

"Well that's understandable. Given what's been going on lately." He said while pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

"Yeah…" I said absentmindedly, my mind still on James.

XxX

It's been about four hours since James had left and even though I knew I should probably be worried, I was more annoyed than anything. Running away seemed to be James' defense mechanism lately and I was starting to get sick of it.

"Why are you looking like that?" Logan asked, giving me a weird look.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking." I said, hoping that he wouldn't pry.

"About?" He asked, forever being the curious one.

"James. I'm just tired of him running off every time something goes wrong. And I know I shouldn't feel like that way, but I do." I said, deciding to vent out my frustrations.

"Kendall…" Logan started, but was cut off by a familiar voice.

"No Logan, let Kendall finish." The voice said in a harsh tone.

I turned around and was immediately face to face with James.

"Um… h-hey James…" I said awkwardly, looking to Logan for support.

"Hey, you got yourself into this situation. You get yourself out." Logan said, holding his hands up in surrender as he slowly backed away.

"Look James, I just… I just don't think you should be running off everytime something goes wrong. I know that it's probably just a defense mechanism, but running away from your problems only makes them worse." I said hesitantly, knowing that James and I had pretty much the same temper. And since he was already upset, the smallest thing could set him off.

"Right, because _you're _the one that should be giving people advice on how to handle themselves." He said sarcastically.

"What's that supposed mean?" I asked, returning the glare that he was giving me.

"It _means_ that you shouldn't really be giving advice when you can't even deal with your own emotions." He replied, before turning to walk away.

"What's your problem?" I asked while following him, feeling myself starting to get a little angry.

"Oh, I don't know Kendall. Let me see, how did you put it? I'm a ticking timebomb! Maybe it's just about time that I went off." He snapped, making me stop in my tracks.

"James…" I sighed, feeling nothing but regret.

"Save it Kendall. I'll try not to act _off _anymore. Problem solved. Or maybe I should just leave. I'm sure you and Logan would be better off without me anyway!" He sneered, once again throwing my words back at me.

"Would you stop being so dramatic for a minute and let me explain?!" I yelled, quickly getting fed up with the brunette.

"Guys…" Logan said, trying to intervene.

"Oh, so now I'm too dramatic for you?!" He yelled back.

"Guys!" Logan tried again, but it was too late. I had finally snapped.

"Yes, you are! And you know what? Maybe Logan and I _would_ be better off without you!"

"Kendall!" Logan snapped, immediately looking towards James who looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"J-James, I didn't mean-" But before I could get another word out, he had bolted back towards the Palm Woods.

"Nice going!" Logan snapped, giving me a rough shove before running after James, leaving me alone in Palm Woods Park.

I let out a sigh before following Logan, feeling nothing but guilt.

**James P.O.V.**

I didn't know why I acted so cold towards Kendall, but I didn't mean it. I was just so frustrated with everything and I just couldn't handle it anymore.

I wiped away a couple of stray tears that had fallen as I made my way to the bathroom, making sure to lock it behind me. I walked over and opened the cabinet, immediately finding what I was looking for.

I knew that Kendall didn't really mean what he said, but he was right.

All I did lately was screw things up. I knew that the guys didn't need me anymore since they had each other. They said that they didn't blame me for what happened… but I knew that deep down, they all thought that it was my fault.

If I hadn't helped Carlos convince the guys to go out while it was raining, then none of this would've happened. Carlos wouldn't be in a coma, I wouldn't feel so depressed and guilty all the time, and Kendall and Logan wouldn't have to deal with me.

I really thought that we would be able to get through this together. I mean, that's what everyone said. But I just can't take it anymore.

Plus, I was pretty sure they didn't want me around anymore, especially after what just happened…

I looked down at the razor, and made my final decision. Smiling a little at the fact that I was finally going to end my suffering.

"_James?" _I heard Logan call from the other side of the door.

I just ignored him as I stuck my arm out.

"_James why is the door locked? What's going on?" _ I felt a slight pang in my chest at the worry in Logan's voice. But I had to do this.

"_James? It's me. _Please _come out. I want to talk. I didn't mean anything I said." _Kendall pleaded.

I put the razor against my skin, shivering a little once I felt the cold blade touch my skin.

"_Jay this isn't funny. I'm sorry! Just… please don't do anything stupid!" _Kendall pleaded as I dragged the razor across my skin, wincing a little at the pain. But the pain quickly subsided after a few seconds, and was replaced with a feeling that I couldn't quit describe. It was addicting though, euphoric even…

"_James I swear if you don't open the door right now I'm going to bust it down!" _

I dragged the razor across my wrist once more, suddenly feeling a sharp pain in my wrist that I didn't feel the first time. I looked down and noticed that I was starting to quickly bleed out.

I was struggling to keep my eyes open as my vision started to get blurry. I felt like I was slowly slipping away.

Suddenly the door was tackled down by Kendall. Which was weird because I didn't even remember hearing him trying to knock down the door…

I slowly closed my eyes. The last thing I heard was someone yelling my name before I succumbed to the darkness.

* * *

**Done. So now you all know that it was James who had the breakdown. This chapter was hard for us to write since neither of us had ever written something like this, but I hope we did it right and lived up to everyone's expectations! You all also got to see what caused the breakdown, basically he bottled up his emotions until he just exploded and (not to sound cheesy and no pun intended) broke down. So now our question to you all is, what do you all think is going to happen next? _Please _ let us know your thoughts and what you all think will happen next in a review! Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed & EpicRusher13**


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